In response to recent attacks on Planned Parenthood, sex columnist auteur Dan Savage quipped on the Slog that "the GOP wants to shrink the size of government...so they can fit the government in your vagina." Because, of course, Tea Partiers want less government, fewer laws in all cases...except when something offends their sensibilities and they march in on the high horse of capital-M Morality. We're Americans, after all: individuals with free will and a God-given right to our autonomy. Unless that autonomy leads us to expressing ourselves sexually in any way other than lights-off missionary within marriage. 

Why the egregious lapse in logic? Why the double standard, Tea Party? Let's make a deal: you can have the God-given right to your guns, your Glocks and assault rifles and all of them, just so long as I can put whatever I want in my orifices. Same goes for my gay male counterparts. I know--I'm encroaching a little on your constitutional right not to have to think of gay people as fully human, but fair's fair. 

What really baffles me about the reproductive rights outcry is how eager conservatives are to make exceptions to their free market philosophies. We're all logical people here, so let's apply a little more logic to the situation than it usually gets. Usually, the biggest argument we see over abortion is whether or not it counts as the killing of a human being. I'd like to sidestep over this squabble, because I think there's no real answer to it. Neither side has a good enough answer as to why they draw the human line where they do. Pro-choice folks draw it at birth, but then there's the question of very premature babies who manage to survive into childhood. Pro-lifers draw it at conception, but the first few weeks of fetal development don't produce much of a specimen. Scientifically, I suppose the line is somewhere in the middle, when the brain develops past a certain point and can register things like pain. But we don't know when in the timeline of pregnancy this point is, and so we can't draw a hard and fast line. Point is, a fetus starts looking human awfully early, and that's enough for a lot of people to feel squeamish about the whole abortion thing. 

Understandably so. Despite what certain gullible conservatives might think, women don't take the decision to have an abortion lightly. It's a serious medical procedure and often an emotionally strenuous process. Women choose it as the lesser of two evils, to prevent bringing an unwanted child into the world. I seriously doubt anyone considers it to be a late form of birth control, as I've heard some pro-life folks argue. People generally arrive at the decision to have an abortion after misusing or not using birth control due to insufficient contraceptive education. And even when used correctly, birth control sometimes fails. 

Let's make this clear once and for all: no one wants more abortions in the world. People may rally for the option to remain open, but not so we can abort for pleasure. I can't say firsthand, but I'd wager there's little to no pleasure in sucking a half-formed human out of your genitals. I'd like abortion to stay legal, but in the same way I'd like guns to stay legal--as a last resort in a nasty situation. 

Since we're a capitalistic nation, let's look at this from a supply and demand issue. Abortion exists because there's a demand for it. There are women getting pregnant who can't afford to bring their fetus to term. If we're seeking to have fewer abortions in the country, it would make sense for us to reduce the demand for it. Conservatives will cry abstinence here, but they're coming from a Christian perspective. What about the little atheist boys and girls coming into their own and discovering their own bodies? What about religious people who don't believe in waiting until marriage for sex? You can't have a Christian doctrine govern an entire nation--you can't outlaw sex outside of marriage anymore. People keep fighting for sexual freedom and they keep winning. The argument against it weakens. That's not to say practicing Christians can't still stay virgins, but we can't base our legislation on only them. There are other citizens in the country who need to be protected. So outside of legally enforcing abstinence, how do we reduce the demand for abortion? 

We could keep Planned Parenthood open--you know, for the 97% of things it does to prevent abortions and other women's health crises. We could introduce sex education in schools that goes beyond "don't do it ever or else". Go ahead and recommend abstinence, sure--but be sure to mention other options for those kids who aren't strict Christians. Implement sex ed in earlier grades. Kids are getting pregnant at 12. They need to learn how sex works before they go ahead and try it--and that means teaching early. Improve access to the morning-after pill in case of leaky condoms, stupid mistakes, and rape. Make sure pharmacists understand that it prevents conception and doesn't abort it. Fire pharmacists who refuse to sell Plan B due to religious beliefs. If they don't understand the science behind the pill, they shouldn't be employed to dispense it. And speaking of rape, do something about the rape culture we live in. Start blaming rapists for rape. Instill the notion that men do not have the God-given right to stuff their junk into whatever they want. 

The two sides of the country too often butt heads on the issue when it seems there's an easy enough compromise: prevention. Stop stigmatizing sex and improve resources for the sexually active. Stop quibbling over whether abortion is murder or not. It's a moot point when you consider that abortion is no fun and not something we want a lot of anyway. Keep abortion a legal, safe choice, but keep it very, very rare. 

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